Cheap Pops - Wrestling News & Views: July 12, 2015

Cheap Pops - July 12, 2015

by Chris Delloiacono, Mike Maillaro and Jeff Ritter

This week!

- Beast In the East Results

- WWE2K16 Cover revealed

- Best Authority Figures

- NXT Results (I use that term loosely)

Beast in the East Results

- Chris Jericho def. Neville with Liontamer

- Nikki Bella def. Tamina Snuka and Paige to retain Divas title.  Tamina missed a splash and Nikki defeated her with...uhm...a forearm smash?

- Brock Lesnar def. Kofi Kingston with the F5.  After the match, Brock also F5'd Big E and Xavier Woods after the match

- Finn Balor def. Kevin Owens with Coup De Grace to become the new NXT champ

- Dolph Ziggler and John Cena def. Kane and King Barrett.  Cena hit the AA on King Barrett for the win after Ziggler superkicked Barrett

Mike: On July 4th, WWE did a big show in Ryougoku Sumo Hall in Tokyo, Japan.  They aired it live on the WWE Network.  For the most part, this felt a little like a house show, but I am actually okay with that.  If you came in expecting a PPV quality show, you were probably going to be disappointed.  While I didn’t get up at 4 AM to watch this, I did watch it a few hours later with my 8-year old daughter.   She really enjoyed the show!

The opening match was hot, and it was great to see the fans reactions to Jericho.  He had done quite a few tours of Japan, and you can tell they were happy to see him return.  I am not sure it was a good idea for Neville to put him over, but I am a huge Jericho fan, and it was nice to see him win a match for a change.  

Chris: I'd love to see more shows like this on the Network.  There's nothing wrong with a smaller event getting aired, because it makes your subscription more valuable.  I didn't even watch all the matches, but I enjoyed my experience too!

The opener was a lot of fun with some great spots.  It's a shame to see Jericho go over, but at least the match was entertaining.

Mike: My daughter really enjoyed the Divas match.  This actually might have been the first time she has seen women wrestling.  It was a decent match, but the ending was pretty awful.  I actually thought at first the ref botched the count...because I couldn’t possibly imagine a match ending with what was the world’s weakest looking forearm smash.  

Jeff: There was a Diva’s match? I seem to have developed situational blindness.

Mike: Brock over Kofi was pretty much exactly what you expected it to be.  A total squash match.  And then Brock got to beat up all three members of New Day.  It’s kind of pathetic how quickly WWE seemed to have given up on New Day.  If you want to win a match in the WWE, be a part-timer.  You’ll pretty much always beat the guys who are working their asses off on a daily basis for the company.

Chris: Brock could have given Kofi just a little bit more.  Did it seriously have to be a complete squash?  If Brock wrestled regularly I would care about him more, but I can't invest in him as a performer with his horrible schedule.  I just can't.

Jeff: The problem with Kofi is he isn’t a credible opponent for Brock. He’s not a World Title guy. If anything, he got the match because he can take a bump butter than most. Or at least look suitably crumpled in the process. Brock needed a heavyweight to throw around, but one that could stood stagger the Beast for a few moments to give the match a shred of credibility.

Mike: The highlight of the night was Finn Vs Owens, but that’s not exactly a surprise.  It was pretty much the only part of the show that the WWE had been hyping up. Well, other than the fact Brock Lesnar would be there.  Owens took his first loss in NXT, and Finn claimed the title in front of a crowd that loves him.  This was definitely the perfect time and and place to give Finn the win.

Chris: It was a great build to Finn's win, but I hate to see Owens job clean again.  A little Cena distraction would have been cool here, but the title change was smart. Hopefully Owens takes the U.S. title from Cena, so he can build some more momentum.  By the way, the match itself was spectacular, and the pre-match festivities with the flowers and streamers gave it the feeling of something huge.

Jeff: Yeah, Owens jobbing clean kinda screams “Hey, he’s moving to the main roster full time, so yeah, we didn’t bother trying to surprise anyone.”

Mike: The shameful part of the night was that Finn Vs Owens...or even Brock...was not the main event.  Instead, we get a real pieced together tag match. I get that Cena is a worldwide name, but if you have to put him on last, there had to be a better match for him than this one. You ever want to send me running...put the words “Kane” and “main event” in a sentence that isn’t “Kane belongs no where near the main event!” This was just a real simple tag match with no one really taking any risks. Typical for a house show basically.

Chris: I couldn't bring myself to watch the Divas or the "main event".  Thank you fast forward!

Jeff: There was a match with Cena and Kane? I seem to have developed situational blindness, part deux.

Mike: What was really odd to me was how many big guys weren’t even featured on the card.  WWE Champion Seth Rollins, Intercontinental Champ Ryback, Roman Reigns, the tag champs, Bray Wyatt, Rusev, etc.  I know that it was only a two hour show, but you need to give your fairly recent talent some time to shine.  

Chris: The show could have used more starpower, for sure.  WWE was running a second crew though Canada the same day, so that's where the names you mentioned were.  In the end it was a nice little show with a couple big moments.

Jeff: I thought the vintage Jericho comeback was terrific! Loved seeing the old-school Liontamer!

Mike: I will definitely agree with that.  I hate when he does the Boston Crab and we’re all supposed to pretend that we don’t realize it’s a completely different move.   When he does the Boston Crab, you might as well just fast foward because the opponent is going to get to the ropes or escape.  My one complaint with Jericho is that he does telegraph his moves a little too much.  There isn’t a lot of surprise when Jericho is involved.  

Chris: Agreed!  The Crab is absolutely lame in comparison to the Liontamer.  As for telegraphing, most of the wrestlers hit the same moves night after night.  There isn't a lot of variation from the WWE guys once they get their move set down.  Probably one reason the product is stale.

Jeff: If Jericho and Neville were working against each other in their prime in the mid 90s, doing J-Cups and Cruiserweight glory years WCW, we’d be talking about how many of their matches were 5-star classics. Neville is tremendous. Why did they neuter is first name? Neville doesn’t exactly stand up next Sting or...um...Ryback?

Mike: I love how he keeps saying that no one could have possibly seen the top rope RKO Orton hit him with last time they fought.  I roll my eyes every time I hear him say that.  It was pretty obvious for anyone who has ever seen a wrestling match before.

WWE Announces their cover superstar for WWE2K16

Mike: Uhm.  Yeah.  So this happened.  Look, I am not knocking Stone Cold Steve Austin.  He is easily in the  top two or three stars wrestling has ever produced.   You couldn’t go anywhere without seeing Austin 3:16 shirts back towards the end of the 20th century.  And I was pretty quiet about The Rock being on the cover of WWE2K14, mostly because that release was real Attitude Era heavy, so it just made sense.

Putting Austin on the cover just feels like the WWE has basically just given up.  Or that 2K has decided that there is just no star power in the WWE at all.  If it was me, I would have put Brock Lesnar on the cover.  Or Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.  Or maybe some of the NXT guys.  Give the whole game a “next generation” flair to it.

Hell, I would rather see Cena or Orton on another cover.  It’s been done to death, but at least they are active WWE guys.  The WWE just seems to have no faith in their current guys, and that has to feel like a huge kick in the balls.  Yeah, I am sure putting Stone Cold on the cover will help sell some copies, but for me, it’s just another sign that the WWE has no interest in building the future.  Just keep selling us the same old tired material over and over again.  

Chris: Retro is what the movies are about these days and even TV.  It's a weird world we live in where classics like The X-Files, Twin Peaks, and Ash vs. The Evil Dead are all making huge headlines years after lengthy mainstream absences.  Corporations just want brand recognition and Steve Austin certainly fits that bill.  It's an interesting summation of where the American zeitgeist is heading.  For me, I'm thrilled to see those types of shows on television.  

For wrestling, or any athletic pursuits, it doesn't make sense to lean too heavily on the legends.  Imagine if MLB only used Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth to sell products.  Or if Wayne Gretzky was the center of the NHL's advertising.  David Duchovny and Bruce Campbell can do pretty much everything they did in their earlier work, but Steve Austin is only going to talk a bit on WWE TV.  Adults play video games, but judging by my students, kids largest exposure to the business is through the games.  Make a star, Vince!  Make a new damn star for the younger generation, and stop pushing the classic acts.

Jeff: Can’t really disagree with anything you gents have said. I honestly couldn’t tell you who was on last year’s cover for Madden, MLB The Show, NHL 2KWhatever or WWE2K15. I don’t much care. What I care about is the game. Specifically, is it fun? Is the control scheme intuitive? Do moves flow easily from one button to the next? Is the collision detection realistic? Is there a sandbox mode where I never have to see John Cena’s virtual mug on my screen if I don’t want to? I still play WWE14 (CM Punk on the cover--I had to check, though), mainly because of the Universe mode, where I promptly eliminated Smackdown, recreated the AWA, WCW and ECW plus my own personal little promotion for Create-A-Wrestlers (which damn sure better be robust) and run a PPV every Sunday on the calendar for one ot the promotions and occasionally a joint “Super Show.” It’s a lot of fun for me to work out trades among the shows, balancing tag teams across all of them, putting the Divas on the WWE and the cruiserweights in WCW, and so forth.

From what I’ve heard, the 2K series is making baby steps more than strides.Perhaps the WWE is a license that would benefit from a longer development cycle? Certainly the yearly push for Madden hasn’t helped that game much. For years--years, mind you--Madden shipped broken. I’m an anti-social gamer. I give two [insert favorite paired expletives here] about playing with strangers over XBOX Gold. I want to run my team my way, from top to bottom. If I can eliminate a few teams and create all new ones, so much the better. I have a big fantasy draft and away ago. I soon discovered, year after year after year, that by season 2 of my long term franchise mode, the game would go no further. There was a broken algorithm in the program. The game wouldn’t produce enough fake, random fullbacks. I know what you’re thinking: What’s a fullback? A fullback is a running back who often is slower and heavier than your feature back, who blocks for him or the quarterback in most situations, but might be a good choice for a 3rd and 1 situation to drive the pile that important 3 feet to the next set of downs or a score. Got it? Movin’ on...the game didn’t know it needed to make more fullbacks. The NFL doesn’t really use them all that much anymore anyway, so the fact that Madden requires you to carry one at all times is kinda stupid anyway (same with punters in my view, but I digress). The game will start the second season, maybe play a couple of weeks in and then it locks up hard. Why? Out of fullbacks. Somebody got injured on a couple of teams, probably not even my own, and now the game doesn’t know what to do. It doesn’t even consider that just because you HAVE a full back you might be playing a superior running back or another blocking TE with good hands there instead. Under user control you have options. EA didn’t fix this for years. I honestly don’t know if they have yet because I quit giving them my money. They would take a good 6 months before releasing the patch for it by which time you’re well into baseball season and the NHL and NBA playoffs and you don’t give a damn about the NFL at that point.

So back to the point--the WWE games constantly feel rushed. What they should be developing is universal game platform. A system of videogame wrestling that lets the person with the controller have the power. Any type of WWE match that has been done should be an option. NOTE: I said WWE. No Judy Bagwell on a pole matches. That’s Eric Bischoff/Vince Russo WCW garbage and there’s no place for it here. I’m sick to death of unlockables that require me to play my “favorite” superstars like Cena, HHH, Undertaker and Randy Orton in order to access 3 versions of Mick Foley and Linda McMahon. No, at the point of sale everyone on the active roster from TNA to WWE should be open. The entire Hall of Fame should also be available. If I want to have Arnold Skaaland manage Pat Patterson and Rocky Johnson to the WWE Tag Team Championships (and please God let me pick from previous versions of the straps, because those Centurion plates are utter shite), then that’s what I should be able to do. Jesse Ventura as World Champion, feuding with Nick Bockwinkle and Iron Shiek and Hulk Hogan? That’s what I want. I want the Lucha Dragons going up against the team of Andre the Giant and Big John Studd. I want Samoa Joe vs George “The Animal” Steele in a submission match. I want to book an old-school survivor series Match with the Blackjacks and Barry Windham and John “Hawk” Bradshaw against the Rhodes Family: Dusty, Dustin and Cody with their mystery partner, “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff. It can’t be that hard--most of these guys used pretty basic moves that have been in the game for year. Don Muraco used a proto-Pedigree for a finisher. Sure, by today’s standards the dreaded Crossface Chickenwing used by Bob Backlund may not be terribly exciting to younger gamers. To oldtimers like me, it would be pure joy. I’d set up a card where John Cena had to fight 10 of the best submission grapplers in a row so he’d learn how to do just one of those moves properly. I weep every time he attempts the STF. If it takes until 2018 to produce a really good wrestling game, so be it.

Or somebody could bring back the original NES Pro Wrestling characters on the old YUKES engine from No Mercy. Just sayin’.

Best in our World - Authority Figures

Mike:  Rounding out our series of the best of non-wrestling personalities, this week I wanted to talk about the various “made up” authority figures that we’ve seen in wrestling.  This includes your CEO’s, GM’s, your presidents, your owners, etc, etc.  Since Jeff always complains I take all the low-hanging fruit, I decided to do with a few more out there choices this time.

1) Jack Tunney - By pretty much every measure possible, Jack Tunney was the worst boss the WWF ever had.  Pretty much at random back in the 80’s, the “President” of the WWF would come out to fix some injustice...often by making things worse.  Hogan loses the title to Andre because of an evil ref.  What does Tunney do?  Give the title back to Hogan?  Make a rematch?  Nah, he makes a massive tournament and takes the title away from both men.  

My personal favorite Jack Tunney moment was when he gave Andre a little tiny trophy for a massive 15 year undefeated streak...and gives Hogan this ridiculously over the top statue for being world champ for 3 years.  Jack Tunney was just awful at his job, and it always made for entertaining TV to me.

2) William Regal - I love William/Steven Regal.   For some reason, the WWE has never seemed all that sure what to do with this extremely talented wrestler.  This was his Titantron and theme song back in the day.

You thought poor Dusty had issues when we was asked to wear Polka Dots?  Regal seemed doomed.   But at some point, WWE realized that Regal would make a great GM.  Maybe it was the accent?  But it worked really well.  He was involved in some of the funniest segments of the Attitude era, especially during his feud with Jericho and his strange friendship with Tajiri.  This would lead to a return to the ring, and he actually seemed close to becoming WWE champion before personal issues derailed that.

These days, Regal serves as the GM for NXT.  He’s not quite the pompous evil GM, but it keeps him regularly on my TV, so it’sall good with me.

3) Eric Bischoff - I had to think real carefully about including Easy E on this list.  I was actually a fan of WCW for some time, before it became a mess...and yeah, a lot of that was Eric Bischoff’s fault.  And the on-screen WCW segments with him always felt a little self-serving, and didn’t always sell the product as much as it should.  

But, I thought when he came over to WWE, he managed to dial it back down some and did some excellent work.  So, I have to include him in this list, even if I do feel a little dirty for doing so.  At least I didn’t include Vince Russo, that has to count for something, right?

4) Dario Cueto - I typically try to not put newer guys on my lists, but Dario Cueto has been awesome as the owner of Lucha Underground.  The best possible description of Dario is “Vince McMahon...if Vince was starring in a Spanish soap opera.”  Dario is just so ridiculously over the top that I can’t wait to see him each week.  It also helps that his segments are usually real quick so I can never get tired of him.

5) Vickie Guerrero - I don’t care what anyone has to say about Vickie, I’m a fan of her work as GM.   At one point, she was just about the only person in WWE capable of getting any kind of real heel reaction from the crowd.  When she yelled “EXCUSE ME!” the crowd would always respond.  But there was still a ton of respect and love for her.  In fact, when she retired, the crowd gave her a wonderful send-off.  This wasn’t “she’s terrible, get her off my TV” it was always, “WHAT AN EVIL BITCH!”  

Chris: Low hanging fruit, is normally apropos.  You hit some weird ones here and that's cool.  As an aside, you know who won't be on my list, Kane.  Worst authority figure EVER.  Followed closely by Triple H, my goodness.  His authority shtick is wretched.  

I've got to say, I'm kind of sick of the whole evil authority thing.  It was utterly brilliant with Vince in the Attitude Era, at least until it ran out of steam and dragged the product down.  I can't believe we still have to put up with the same storylines over and over.  I miss the days of an impartial person in charge and largely off camera.  It makes wrestling seem more fake when there's always an evil puppet master.  I prefer managers going against the system, rather than the system itself being evil.

1) Vince McMahon - That said, I'm going low hanging fruit here and choosing Vince.  There was simply nothing like the early days of "No Chance" Vince.  There hadn't been much like it before, and Vince did it best.

2) Jack Tunney - Old Jack was the face of the WWF when I grew up.  I still remember well when he suspended Danny Davis "for life!"  He was rarely on but when he was it lent the show credibility.  Why he didn't strip the Hart Foundation of the titles, well, like you said Mikey, he was horrible at his job, yet he wasn't evil.  I liked that better.

3) Shane McMahon - This guy was either helping his dad out or hindering him and it made for some really fun moments.  The fact that he got in the ring and did some pretty dynamic things also made Shane O'Mac a lot of fun, and a less touted hero of the Attitude Era.

4) Mick Foley - Whether it was with WWE or his current role for PWS, Mick always entertains with fun promos as the commissioner.  He's usually the anti-McMahon, in that he leans heavily for the faces.  It serves as a nice change of pace from the evil leader antics.

5) Verne Gagne - I've spoken often of my love for the AWA.  The product may have been often been very disappointing, but for a child it entertained me endlessly.  Verne was a perfect occasional authority on the show.  He was a multi-time champion, somewhat intimidating, and he had wonderful camera presence.  He wasn't on a lot and be played it fair.  That's what the business needs again.

Jeff: Mike, pluck all the low-hanging fruit you like. I just think some topics are prone to having three identical lists. Nobody in their right mind could argue against Bobby Heenan as a manager. That said, here’s my top five people in Authority (sorry, no Cartman):

1) William Regal - What on-screen commissioners/GMs should be. Not getting himself over at the show’s expense, he simply settles disputes by creating matches (kayfabe) that the fans want to see. He doesn’t even have to be on TV every week. He’s that cool. Off the subject, I always thought Regal would be a great Bond character. Maybe as the villain, maybe as Q?  

2) Paul Heyman - I wouldn’t want him in charge of my payroll, but nobody in the business was better at creative and talent development than Paul in ECW.

3) Jim Ross - As the head of Talent Relations, JR had a lot of stroke backstage. I have to think he was the voice of tradition if not reason during some of Vince’s more zany moments. Pretty good eye for talent too, even if Creative often let everyone down.

4) Eric Bischoff - He’s a scumbag, but he beat Vince at Vince’s game for a little while. That’s gotta count for something!

5) Jim Herd - Somebody has to be the poster child for what not to do! Because of Herd, everyone who dealt with him became stronger people because of it.

Side note: I could be wrong, and since this is an opinion piece I’m too lazy to look it up, but I think Jack Tunney used to be a promoter (Canada--Toronto, maybe?) who came to work as Vince’s on-screen President after he sold Vince his territory. He was a figurehead character, and his decisions never made sense, which I suppose is one better than Jim Herd, who really was in charge in WCW! By the way, Herd was once the station manager of KPLR 11 in ST. Louis, home of “Wrestling at the Chase.” So on behalf of St. Louis, I apologize for whatever small part we played in Herd ending up atop the fledgling WCW after the split with the NWA.

Chris:  Your recollections about Tunney's true role are exactly what I've heard.  On the money as always, Jeff!

NXT Results - July 8, 2015

- Sasha Banks and Charlotte defeated Emma and Dana Brooke by double-submission.

- Solomon Crowe submitted Marcus Louis

- Replay of Finn Baylor beating Kevin Owens for the NXT Title in Japan

- The Vaudevillains defeated Enzo and Big Cass to become No. 1 Contenders for the NXT tag Titles

Jeff: I don’t know if my partners will have time to comment, so I’m going to speak my mind about the whole show right here: Good gawd could this suck more? The opener wasn’t horrible in so much as Banks and Charlotte were in it and working under an agreement that if Charlotte helped her out she’d get a title shot. Well sure--who else would? Alexa Bliss is apparently too busy with the NXT Tag Champs, whatever their completely forgettable names are. Bayley has a messed up hand and Becky Lynch is out for a bit longer still. Carmella is in the same boat as Bliss with her  duties as Enzo and Cass’ #1 cheerleader (I’m buying into the story here, what little there is, so just work with me here, okay?) Emma is clearly not a threat and Dana Brooke is green and not really grabbing anyone’s interest (I miss the Glamazon). That leaves...um...Eva Marie? I don’t even know if Regal as given her the green light to compete for NXT. Blue Pants? Suspiciously not listed on the NXT or Diva’s rosters on WWE.com at the moment. At this point the once ballyhooed NXT Diva division is pretty scant. No Natalya either, I guess. So that pretty much leaves Charlotte. And that pretty much meant that this match was predictable from the outset.

Chris: The much ballyhooed NXT everything is pretty scant these days.  I won't say the product stinks, but it barely holds my interest.  That's a huge step up from RAW and the like, which I haven't watched in a month, but the show has fallen so much.

As to the match, like you said, not horrible, but it's all been done before.  Although I do like "Evil" Emma a lot.  Unfortunately pairing her with Dana just isn't fair.  First Santino and now Ms. Brooke.  It's like WWE wants to saddle Emma with the most useless people on the roster.

Jeff: Instead of concentrating on the atrociousness of Oompa Loompa Crowe making Kane Lite tap out to the “Crowebar,” aka the Brock Lock (ATTENTION WWE CREATIVE: I will gladly create halfway decent names for holds for a small fee. Clearly it’s too much for you to handle.), I replayed Adrian (oh, see, he did have a first name!) Neville vs Sami Zayn in my head. Didn’t really matter which one, they were all better than this bout. Heck, Gene Snitsky vs Jon Heidenreich would have been better. Lanny Poffo vs Dusty wolfe would have been better. WHERE IS MOJO FREAKIN’ RAWLEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!? Woo-woo-woo...I know it…

I can’t stand it when they fill an already short show with reruns.  The Baylor match is already on the Network elsewhere. I can go watch it at my leisure. Nobody’s watching NXT who can’t see the Beast in the East event too. Don’t waaste the time on a replay when you be giving Ty DIllinger or “Prince Pretty” Tyler Breeze or Baron Corbin some screen time. Corbin could use the opportunity to finally flesh out his character not to mention his repertoire. Heck, what happened to Alex Riley already? Did Owens kill him too? And did you know THE Brian Kendrick is still listed on the NXT Roster? He hasn’t wrestled a match in months that I’ve seen or heard of. No, they wasted it replaying a match I and every other WWE Network subscriber can get anytime we want. After the fact, it’s not even good marketing. Is Stephanie and Vince booking the show now or what?

Chris: Why is Solomon getting a win?  Ugh!  Talk about filler....

Oh wait, there's even more filler within the fill.  Hey, on the bright side, reshowing the excellent Balor/Owens match just gets me out of this episode way faster.  

Jeff:  Finally, the Vaudevillains vs Enzo and Cass. I gotta say I love the concept of The Vaudevillains. I think Gotch and English are decent hands. I don’t think they’re particularly great as heels, and I think their chemistry in terms of tag team double-teaming and classic heel tag wrestling techniques leave a lot to be desired. They’re finishing move is also very underwhelming. They really need to tighten this duo up before pushing them past the cult of personality that is Enzo Amore and Big Cass. I don’t know if their gimmick has much staying power at the next level, so their time is now for a prolonged tag title run. The Vaudevillains have no chance to succeed at the next level. I can’t see JBL and Lawler even trying to put them over and Cole isn’t allowed to do anything but shill.

Chris: I like all four of these guys, but you nailed it, the Vaudevillains have no shot on the main roster with the current act. They'd find their place on the depth chart about six levels beneath Los Matadores, and lose...incessantly.  Maybe the loss by Enzo and Cass means they are moving up to the big circuit, where they can feud with The Ascension and never be on TV.  I hope they get a shot, though.  They could get over on the main roster.  

Jeff: You know what NXT seriously needs more than anything? JIM ROSS! Boom, I said it. I know he might not have parted with the company on the best of terms but the man was fatigued in as many ways as one could be. He had a ridiculous travel schedule. You put him on NXT and put a rotation of the whole roster--women and men alike--on the color commentator headset. Ross puts people over and makes everyone stronger on the mic. Regal can sit in from time to time too, and Albert can fill in for Ross when he can’t be there for some reason. Ross gets to stay stationed largely in one place and do what he does best: put the show over, put the talent over, and put his partner over. Everyone wins. You could book a whole evening of Solomon Crowe and Marcus Louis crap that makes me miss Buff Bagwell and if JR calls it it might not actually suck. I can’t even imagine what he could do for Mojo, Breeze, Itami, Corbin, those tag champs dudes--What’s his Face and The Other Guy. Kevin Owens and Jim Ross calling a match? They might actually draw better numbers than Smackdown. That’s only slightly hyperbole, folks. NXT NEEDS JIM ROSS! Jim Ross might not be able to teach anyone how to be a certified stud, a bonafide G, or 7 feet tall ( because you can’t...teach...that!) but he could certainly help them with just about anything else.

Chris: Jim Ross is sorely missed, but really NXT had good commentators recently.  It's a damn shame we don't get Rene, Tensai (or whatever they were calling him), Byron, and Mr. Regal.  They all did the gabbing recently, and they are needed!  JR, though!  Sign me up.  

Just give me SOMETHING or SOMEONE that entertains.

Jeff: Thanks for reading! Next week I’m going to be live at WWE Battlezone (or whatever this unimaginatively named PPV is called)! I doubt you’ll see me up in the cheap seats but  I’ll be there to cheer on Kevin Owens, who I don’t even like, to a US Title victory over John Cena who I like even less. And maybe, just maybe, Brock Lesnar will send someone on the Suplex City Express up to my section! We’ll talk about it in the next week or two. Until then, cheers!